-Uncertainty-

I feel like every post I’ve written, since this year has started, has something to do with how crazy 2020 has been. With all this insanity swirling around I tend to forget how big this year is for me and so many others. I am a 2020 graduate. Yup, you read that right. One of the most transitional years of my life has consisted of a crazy pandemic, rioting and so much uncertainty. Given, I have been uncertain about so many things. The amount of different career paths I’ve considered throughout my entire life is astronomical. Still, after so many decisions I’ve contemplated, I’m battling with uncertainty about what I want to do. There are so many things I enjoy doing but if I did them for the rest of my life, or at least until I retire, I know I wouldn’t enjoy them as I do now. Every unproductive day that passes I sit around thinking of so many possible things I could do, but they always seem so far fetched.

I know I have time to decide but uncertainty aggravates me. The irony is, I am a V E R Y indecisive person. I struggle with the what-ifs when making a decision that I usually just beg a person I trust to decide for me. But I can’t beg someone to decide my life for me. It’s hard for me to not allow frustration to creep in as I fail to decide what I want by knowing that God has already decided my path because he hasn’t revealed what he has for me. My problem isn’t that I’m scared, it’s that I’m frustrated. I’m frustrated that everyone around me has already decided on their future and I still have no clue. But I’ve realized that I haven’t asked God to reveal it to me (Jeremiah 33:3). I haven’t taken my uncertainty and frustration to Him (Proverbs 3:6). Every decision I’ve ever considered I’ve never taken it to God and asked if that is His plan for me. I know he won’t make everything known if I ask, but I know He will reveal to me what He thinks I should know, and at the moment that He does I know I will be satisfied.

I’ve been in a season of craving bible time. Since I’ve started being consistent, I’ve read so many verses telling me to give it to God and ask Him what I desire and He will give it to me, but I never took it seriously and persued what that verse is telling me. I always tell people to take it to God but I have never done that with my uncertainty and frustration. God wants His kids to bring anything to His feet and He will help us with whatever we ask. I’ll tell you right now, I need to do that. Don’t be scared to take your struggles to God, He wants them, He wants all of you. – A